Life of a teenage Shinigami
by Chippokena Kuma
Summary: Puberty. Every young man goes through it, except it's quite different for Shinigami. You fall in love, kill various animals, growing unusual amounts of body hair but that's definitely not the worst parts.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Soul Eater or it's charact- Do I really have to do this?

Chapter 1

In Gallows Mansion Kid made sure they all woke up early exactly at eight o' clock, ate eight perfectly square waffles, were dressed in their clothes that were ironed and starched to perfection and that they still had time to check the house for any disorderly items.

Except today was different. Liz and Patty woke up late, they didn't know how to cook, and Kid wasn't even there to iron their clothes.

"Where the hell is that no good little snob!" Liz yelled stomping an her feet.

"I don't know sis but I sure am hungry, giraffes don't taste as good as Kid's waffles." Patty sniffled and held a half eaten giraffe.

"He's always trying to be perfect! What happen now!?" Liz growled.

"Your turning red!" Patty giggled and pointed at Liz.

"I'm going to see what he's doing?" Liz ignored her sister in favor to stomping up the stairs angrily.

Liz stopped at Kid's door and made sure even through her anger to knock eight times.

"That's weird." Liz mumbled.

"What's weird sis?" Patty asked rocking back on her heels.

"Kid always answers his door."

"Kid!" Liz yelled out.

On the other side of the door Kid was frantically talking to Lord Death in his huge mirror and the only thing different about his was the fact that he had a long striped beard that reached his feet.

"Father, it's not coming off!" Kid grabbed his hair.

"Oh dear, I was sure that burning it would come off." Lord Death said to himself, "You'll just have to leave it there till it falls off.".

"What!?" Kid fell to the ground and beat his fists repeatedly.

"Calm down Kiddo." Lord Death waved his hands with a visible sweat drop rolling down his white mask.

"Calm down! Calm down!" Kid repeated angrily, "How am I suppose to calm down when I look like I stepped out of badly written children's play!" he sobbed.

"Just stay home, your Father will find a way to help you." Lord Death beamed.

Sniffing and horrible snorting was all you could hear until Kid could stand up without falling, "Really?" Kid asked hopefully.

"Yes! I gotta go but I promise I'll talk to you later." Lord Death clicked off hurriedly.

Spirit looked up from his dirty magazine concealed behind a history book, "Is everything alright, Lord Death?" The red haired man was struggling not to stray his from the white mask back to his magazine.

"Poor Kiddo, he doesn't stand a chance against Shinigami Puberty." Lord Death lowered his head.

"Yeah...poor Kid." Spirit said distractedly.

"At least it will be amusing." The masked man turned back towards his mirror and you could feel his non-existing grin.


	2. Chapter 2

Why! Why will I never own Soul Eater! I will sell my last egg for it!

This chapter has slight inappropriate suggestion and swearing. Also Tsubaki is the only who uses honorifics because she is from Japan.

Chapter 2

Liz and Patty went to school after Kid lied to them about a serious Shinigami illness.

Currently he was laying in his king-sized bed in only his boxers and was fighting the urge to twitch, every time he moved it was like a painful shock of pleasure to his lower regions and everywhere he turned he saw beautiful, curvaceous, and symmetrical naked women.

"Dammit this is fucking torture." Kid whimpered as his mouth moved which caused that shock once again.

Hours and hours Kid laid there stiff as a board but he just couldn't take it, he could hear the asymmetrical objects around the room taunting him.

"Fuck this!" Kid stood and as soon as he did he hunched and grabbed at boxers.

"Ugh!" Kid collapsed on the ground in a twitching mess with a bit of foam leaking from his open mouth.

"Kiddo. Kiddo wake up." Kid felt someone poking at his nose.

"Come on Kiddo, wake up for me." The voice sounded oddly familiar.

Kid opened his eyes slowly and was greeted with the most beautiful girl ever, she had pretty bubblegum pink hair and shining lavender eyes.

"W-who are you?" Kid asked with a confused expression.

"I-It's me C-Crona." Crona blushed and hid behind her bangs.

"But I thought you were a boy." Kid sat up and noticed that they were at a beach.

"If you asked then m-maybe you would've known." Crona turned her head.

"Oh sorry." Kid mumbled suddenly feeling awkward for some reason, "Um, where are we?" he asked.

"We're at the beach, come on." Crona grabbed his hand and when they touched it tingled in a good way.

"The beach, why are we at the beach?" Kid asked as he was dragged towards the water by Crona who had a surprisingly painful grip for someone her size.

"To have f-fun!" Crona smiled and Kid blushed, he never seen Crona smiled that birghtly before.

Kid finally noticed their attire, he was wearing a black trunks and he nearly had a nosebleed at Crona's purple bikini but with a will of strength her transferred his eyes to he face and jumped back in shock when it wasn't Crona anymore but Tsubaki.

"Is something wrong, Kid-kun?" Tsubaki smiled.

"No..." Kid slowly backed away but fell into something squishy and warm.

"Hiya Kid!" Patty yelled from behind Kid.

"Hey Kid." Maka suddenly appeared.

"Hi Kid." Liz stood in front of him.

"Kid. Kid are you alright?" Crona appeared again this time in her regular dress.

"Kid! Kid! Are you alright in there!?" She yelled again but this time it sounded like Maka and all the girls were starting to fade.

"What the hell?" Kid looked down at his own body which was fading into nothingness as well.

"Oi! Kid! Open the door!" Soul yelled.

Kid blinked his open and as was greeted with his ceiling but the weird thing was he was floating on water.

"Wait a minute..." Kid felt the water and it felt far too thick too be h20.

"Is this...saliva?" Kid asked himself and he found his answer when he felt his mouth.

"Kid, We're coming in." Maka said.

"Maka?" Kid asked confused still afloat his slobber.

"Wait!" Kid looked down below and gathered his courage to swim through the ocean of drool.

"Here goes nothing."


End file.
